I should probably be more upset about graduating. I’m not really. I’m sad that we all don’t have a homebase, that this isn’t the place everyone comes home to like with high school. I am worried that some people I will lose touch with because it takes effort to maintain friendships over long distances. I am afraid that later on in life I will regret not getting crazier while at OU, that I should have skipped studying to get drunk or to go to strouds or lay out in the courtyard. I worry that I will regret not being more socially involved with my sorority, as opposed to mainly soberly, leadershiply, and brunch-eatingly.
but I’m more excited than anything else to start my new ‘chapter’ or whatever at school, learning exactly what I want to learn. I don’t think I can express how excited I am for graduate school and to begin working my way to the career I (currently) want. I will lose touch with people, but I will also meet many new, new people who may be better friends than some of the ones I have met here. and while I always think I’m going to regret what I didn’t do, those didn’ts also led me to where I am today and I like this place more than anything. sure I didn’t go out and get crazy but then I wouldn’t have gotten good grades and earned my options for graduate study at various universities. yes I was depressed a lot of the time but then I wouldn’t have worked so hard to study abroad In London, where I met some of my best friends and had the best four months that will seriously be hard to top. I wouldn’t have worked so hard to get healthy and lose weight, to become as happy in my body as I am now which has made my self-confidence grow, and I don’t care how superficial that sounds. I wouldn’t have learned what I do and don’t deserve in a relationship, and I definitely wouldn’t have learned what it means to treat people nicely and how to be a good friend. I left slash was kicked out of a relationship I was still in due solely to comfort and the fear of being on my own, and quickly found that relying on myself and only doing me was a lot more fun, as was being single. I probably wouldn’t have gotten ridiculously wasted at a thirsty games shuffle and met someone I am now going to miss a lot a lot a lot.
sure, maybe I would have learned and experienced these same things if I had gone out more or stayed within the sorority bubble or been less anxious and anal retentive or whatever but I like the way my life is going right now and wouldn’t have it any other way